Dating Inside vs Outside

As a young girl I was so mesmerized by the disney fairy tales where the prince falls for the girl and they live happily ever after. But as we all know, this doesn’t really happen. Especially if you’re an Apostolic, by this I mean, Apostolic people tend to date people within in church. Growing up in church I would definitely hear the adults always saying to marry someone within the church. Personally I never listened and I would date outside my church, and how has that gone for me? Well I’m not saying that guys that aren’t in church are bad, but it’s hard for them to relate or understand the Apostolic religion. And I completely understand how the religion may seem “weird” or “too strict”. Even if we put religion aside, it’s hard to make a relationship work if both people have different values. For example, one person may believe in spanking their children and the other may not. (Yes, I do get that not every couple talks about the future or kids while their dating but it will come up eventually. And if not early in the relationship then later.) So should Apostolics date inside or outside the church? I’m going to be honest, I think it’s better to date within the church because when you meet that person you already have the same beliefs. And you wouldn’t have to explain to them why we do certain things and why we don’t. Even if you aren’t into the religion then at least you come from the same background, but if you do take the religion seriously then you get the chance to grow together. I guess this ties to the whole ‘do opposites attract’ controversy. But we like to think that those stories we hear of someone who has been married with another person, who’s the complete opposite of them, and they’ve been together for 20 years are what always happens. Yes, they do happen but when it comes to dating you have to have a balance of both fairy tale and reality. There’s a saying I’ve heard, at least in my church, “flirt to convert” and you do see people from church bringing outside people and they end up basically converting to being an Apostolic. This isn’t always the case, some people just don’t feel that this is the religion for them. And you/your partner don’t want to feel as though they are compromising a great deal of themselves to make the other happy. I guess my biggest thing with this situation is that you don’t want to be dating someone outside the religion and end up being really into God while the other person is not, because you’ll want to share your passion with your partner but if they aren’t into it then they won’t really get it. Of course this can also happen the other way around as well, where your partner is into God and you aren’t. Again, all this is my personal experience based on my life. I’m simply stating my opinion, because I wished someone my age would’ve told me about their experience in this. At the end of the day do what makes you happy. My last advice would be to (1) wait till you know and are happy with yourself before you even think about dating, (2) don’t just date because everyone is doing it, and (3) think about where you stand with your relationship with God. Because if you are trying to figure out whether you want/don’t want a relationship with God and you start dating someone then you could get confused with your feelings, and the feelings you want to feel just to make your partner happy. Dating is like a roller coaster, so just make sure you’re ready for it. 

Word Count: 635

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